I grew up to understand that I have a quick temper that makes me react violently to people and situations I consider provocative. There was a time I broke the only television we had in the house because I was angry and couldn’t control my anger. With time, I observed my temper made me powerful; everyone around me both young and old who knew me was always afraid of getting me pissed. I saw myself on top of the world as most times I could almost anything and get away with it because no one wanted to see me angry. Everyone agreed with my opinions, supported my courses and celebrated my deeds.
As I grew wiser, I discovered the power I thought I had from my temper was a major weakness. All the fear I believed people had for me were just resentment and hate. I discovered I had made some dangerously ridiculous decisions in my life because no one would advise me; I gave the impression I was self-sufficient hence everyone left me to myself. Coming to this realization brought me great hurt, I could only imagine how ell my life could have turned if only someone told me I was trailing the wrong path, I just sat down in tears recounting the years I have wasted because I allowed my weakness get the best of me.
I just couldn’t take it anymore so I went on a soul journey to cleanse myself of this evil that has derailed me. It was a deep and long search that took out virtue from me per time but my determination kept me going. I found a lot of options and possible ways to handle my weakness but the one that gave me solace and has helped me become the better you are reading from right now is SILENCE. I discovered no matter how hurtful a thing is to me, a few minutes, hours or days of silence could heal faster than a billion drug prescriptions.
In silence I found strength. When it hurts, silence made me think through every aspect of an action before I dared take it. When it breaks, silence told me no matter how broken it could be fixed or replaced, when it burned silence told me the pains could be eased with a little smiled properly garnished with some drops of tears. I discovered silence speaks louder than words.
At that point when it hurts, some are waiting to see what you would do and others are listening to hear what you would say; but when you feed them with silence instead of some regrettable action and demining words they become worried because in silence is over a billion words spoken. Silence made me unpredictable and revered. I did not just use silence as a hiding place for my hurt, I found a friend in silence because it speaks.
There is so much that is said in a silent moment. Some people really do not appreciate silence because it hurts them but really sometimes all you need to get yourself back or fix that situation is a little silence; listen carefully to what is says to you when you find it. Be careful when it speaks, sometimes the things you may hear are things you shouldn’t act on but at every point when and where necessary listen to the voice of silence.