A friend once told me “hate is like a poison taken by you while expecting someone else to die”. Hate is the next best thing to feel after hurt. In all fairness, I can’t try to tell you to stop hating because only the one wearing the shoes knows where it hurts; but I must certainly ask why the hate?
In a session with some folks a few years back, I was teaching on how time heals all wounds and one of patients asked me this simple question ‘how can time heal the wound of girl who was sexually abused by her father till she was 19? It was a tough question that requires some serious pondering before dishing out any answers. As I was trying to find my way around this question a young man asked ‘how do I get healed from my wife cheating on me with my younger brother?”. This was the straw that broke the Carmel’s back for me. I couldn’t just find an answer to these questions because most of the things we teach in our sessions are from personal experiences and the theories we’ve learnt in studies.
The hardest part of the hurts we feel is the fact that they are done to us by people who are close and dear to us; those we truly love. It’s easier to heal quickly from a hurt done to us by an outsider than the one done to us by a loved one.
The secret to healing from hurts is forgiving and letting go. It may be difficult though but it is a priceless virtue that sets you to the path of your freedom. I have discovered that the hate that comes with hurt is a prison that we can only break out from if we forgive. This prison is one that you don’t get released from because you are the one holding the keys to the lock. The freedom that comes thereafter is practically indescribable.
So, the long and short of this discourse is, there is no better way to deal with that hurt than to forgive the one who hurts you and let go of all the pains that have developed with time. Though time may not be the healer; but time plays a prominent role in being able to let go.